Sister Wives

This show at the very least is off putting. I am an educated 20-something middle class female, I am understanding and accepting of people of all race, ethnicity, religion (ONLY if you keep it to yourself), and sexual orientation. These things are all essentially out of people's hands. Religion is a slight exception since it isn't written into your DNA or permanent, people change their beliefs all the time based on life's experiences. But one thing that I just can't wrap my head around are these polygamist morman crazies. They act normal for the most part, but what part of you thinks that it's okay to do this? I don't understand. You aren't born to be polygamist, it's not like being born gay. This is something that you are doing to your children. I feel bad that I criticized Sister Wives on twitter and they blocked me, I really do. They are not hurting other people, and they support gay marriage. But what kind of morale is this? One man having sex with 4 women and it's okay because he's "spiritually married" to 3 of them? I am an atheist and I have better morals than this, it's just sad. Essentially what I see come out of this is promiscuity in their children.

Why does this man deserve to be loved and be fully committed by 3 individuals, but he doesn't have to reciprocate that same commitment to one individual? Men are not > than women, this is not the dark ages. I will be more accepting of this all only if these people are okay with a woman having Kody's role with plural husbands. BUT too bad they already stated that that's "wrong" and against their religion. I'm sorry? But where do you get off saying that? Someone please give these people a wake up call.

Leave a Comment |

Wishful thinking of the irrational

We humans tend to tone out things that induce anxiety, or basically anything that cause us to have negative feelings. It often brings us to see only what we want to see.

Last night as I was driving home from work, it was thundering and lightning. This made me think about the chances of a person to get struck by lightning. The odds are about 1 in 300,000. This led me to think about what my dad always told me when I wanted him to buy me powerball tickets at 7/11 when I was a kid. He always told me there was a greater chance of getting struck by lightning than ever winning the lottery. The odds of winning the jackpot is about 200,000,000.... That's pretty slim. So everytime I want to gamble like that I tell myself "would you place a bet with someone that you will get struck by lightning the next time it storms out?" No. Of course not, because we do not wish to get struck by lightning. It's funny how our brains work sometimes, though.

The point I am getting at with this blog is leaning towards religion. These lottery ticket junkies and christians (as well as many other groups of theists) all have the same thing in common. Wishful thinking and ignorance of rationality. They all ignore the rational side of things because they simply don't want to see the negative connotations. People are believing what they want to believe. If they were to just stop and think about how irrational they are being, think about the big picture, they would see a little more clearly. It's okay to have optimism, it's okay to have some hope and faith that things will work out in their favor, but don't these people ever consider that they are wasting their time and or money? There are many energies wasted into something that doesn't matter, there is lots of money wasted into something that doesn't matter. Instead of waiting around for something to happen that you wishfully think will happen, make your own luck. Praying when you are scared, buying a lottery ticket when you are hurting for money, it may help ease the anxiety temporarily, but what are you really gaining? What are you really learning from yourself? You are relying on something that is invisible, and may not be there. These are times when you need to learn to be strong, rise above the ashes and rely on things you can see with your own two eyes, rely on yourself, rely on your family. Make your life happen, not by wishful thinking, but using what you see right in front of you.

Leave a Comment |

Things That Make Me Feel Loved

Things that my boyfriend does or from my point of view things boys need to do to make this girl feel loved <3

Giving me gifts for no reason
Hugging me unexpectedly
Kissing me unexpectedly
Taking time to understand my feelings
Helping me with chores around the house
Praising or complimenting me on my achievements
Making something for me created from the heart
Giving me your undivided attention
Looking into my eyes when speaking to me
Just looking into my eyes and smiling for no reason
Leaving love notes for me <3
Holding my hand when I least expect it
Singing to me :)
Holding me tight when a slow song is playing
Playing with my hair
Grabbing me to unexpectedly slow dance
:)

Leave a Comment |

The Truth About Love Compatibility

I've had my 'Aha' moment. I've come to the realization that in order to be in a long lasting relationship with someone you need to have similar values and personality traits that run deep to your core that will work with each other. Hobbies, interests, or other similarities can always change over time. Just because you and your partner both love to ski or share other hobbies, doesn't mean this person is your soulmate. One of you could always hurt yourself and forever be unable to do certain physical activities that you have previously shared together. Having separate hobbies and interests may be healthier than having all the same ones, it forces you to seek interest and respect the individuality of the other person.

The things that DO matter in a lasting, loving, long-term relationship are core values, morals, and personality (more so temperament, since personality also can change over time). This puts me at ease because my boyfriend and I have ALL the same values and morals, apart from what we are interested in objectively. We may have different senses of humor but ultimately our temperament works really well together. He is easy and I am slow-to-warm-up. I guess that's where the extroversion in him comes into play and the introversion in me stands. He is going to help me be more adaptable and I will help him become more hesitant and reserved about things he carries through in his daily life.

So, what it comes down to is; you don't have to love each others' hobbies and interests, you just have to respect them. Respect for each others' differences goes a long way. Love is not easy. It's something that doesn't just happen on its own, it's something you have to create and work at.

Leave a Comment |

What is a friend?

A friend shouldn't be defined as someone who gives back what they receive, or visa versa. A friend is someone who you get enjoyment out of from helping them, being there for them, etc. without needing them to always return the favor. An analogy I compare to this is helping the less fortunate, doing a good deed that comes with no reward, volunteering, etc. You do these things because you truly care about and empathize the people you are helping. You don't expect them to ever return the favor, you just want to give them a chance to feel special. That's what friends are for. If you really want to make sure you are always getting back what you give out, keep a tally, because you're going to constantly have thoughts running through your mind like "I did something for them 3 times, they only returned one favor to me, I think they owe me two..." Dumb. That way of thinking is going to drive you crazy.

As you get older you learn that the important part of friendship is worrying about what you are doing on your part, not worrying about whether they are doing something on their end. This is when you know you have matured. Girls seem to pick up this skill later than guys do. Girls are more competitive and don't want to be friends with other girls who make them feel inferior, guys don't care. Why do girls have to be this way? That's why I will appreciate the girl friends I do have to the very end, but there is nothing like a girl and guy friendship; there is less betrayal, less judgment, and definitely less competition.

I may have friends who don't always return favors I give them, but I don't consider them favors. The things I do for my friends are truly acts to better themselves because they deserve it. And despite what you may think, everyone deserves it. Everyone gets a chance, but once they betray you, that chance is over and they are usually then expected to redeem themselves in some way.

Everyone has become so superficial, greedy, selfish that in friendships or romantic relationships, everyone is always wanting to get something out of it. Maybe if these people stopped expecting things, even greater things will come their way. Just remember, the more greedy an individual seems, the less someone else wants to help them out. Friends do things for each other because they care. We don't expect anything in return, it's enough for us to make them feel good :)

Leave a Comment |

Rules to live by

    1.    Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
    2.    Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
    3.    Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
    4.    When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’
    5.    Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
    6.    Play more games and read more books than you did last year.
    7.    Make time to practice meditation. It provides us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
    8.    Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
    9.    Dream more while you are awake.
    10.    Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
    11.    Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
    12.    Try to make at least three people smile each day.
    13.    Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
    14.    Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
    15.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
    16.    Eat breakfast like a queen, lunch like a princess and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
    17.    Smile and laugh more. It will keep the negative blues away.
    18.    Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
    19.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
    20.    Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    21.    You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
    22.    Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
    23.    Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    24.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
    25.    Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
    26.    Forgive everyone for everything.
    27.    What other people think of you is none of your business.
    28.    Know one is responsible for your actions except you.
    29.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
    30.    Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
    31.    Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
    32.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
    33.    The best is yet to come.
    34.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
    35.    Do the right thing!
    36.    Call your family often.
    37.    Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for _______. Today I accomplished ____.
    38.    Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
    39.    Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
    40.    Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.

Leave a Comment |

Senior Year

This is by far the best year of college. I guess it goes without saying; senior year of anything is the most fun as I found out already in high school. I have, for one, learned so much; from my professors, my classmates, my friends, and last and foremost, myself. I could be placed on a deserted island and still learn things from inside my own head, it holds wonders. Reading pieces and excerpts from my own writings (homework, word documents, online discussions, etc.) within the last year and a half has made me self-aware that I am capable of so much. The common theme of expression I have used is inspiration. I am longing to inspire people forever. The fact that so many people confide in me for advice, give me trust, and want to share parts of their lives with me because they believe I will understand and accept them unconditionally all comes together and gives me strength to be the best person I can be. But in all seriousness, I hate corniness. It's a waste of time to spend our lives being serious. I am "corny" every once in a while when need be, but when it comes down to it I'd rather spend my time with people laughing more than anything.

This leads me to the part where I talk about how fun senior year is. I'm 21, confident, enthusiastic, and am trying to live my life this last year in Duluth before the youth all goes away. Let me just point out that I'm 22, but I was trying to emphasize on the fact that I am legal to drink, and can we just agree that 21 sounds way better than 22...? I'm trying to stay young as long as I can! The age 25 is creeping up and I don't want to look back on my early 20's and think, "Wow, I wish I would've let loose and had more fun!" That's exactly what I'm doing and there are zero regrets. Zero. I look back on every weekend and think about how much fun it was, even though there honestly hasn't been a sober one yet. I've definitely been a "hot mess" for a majority of the semester. A year ago all I wanted was to be done with college, but now I'm having second thoughts, it's going to be sad more than anything. It worries me to think that there's some people I may never see again if I don't keep in touch, and I'm not the greatest at keeping in touch with people. I will definitely have to come back to Duluth for random weekends and hit up the Sports Garden.

Now let's stop and think; who would you be without college? Would you be somewhere greater doing bigger and better things, or would you be two steps back, trying to figure out your life? I have no idea where I would be, but I'm glad that college worked out the best for me. I love the people here, and am lucky to have met my boyfriend. Who would I have met if I went to school somewhere else? Would he ever measure up to Adam? I think not, and that's why I consider myself lucky. I definitely owe him thanks for bringing me to my feet when I am discouraged. He is always there to tell me everything is going to be okay if I'm stressing. But I don't really owe anyone for where I've landed today, I can only thank myself. I'm amazed at how far I've come emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. I will always be an emotional person, I'm a feeler by nature, but I know how to cope with my emotions and channel them into positive. I'm constantly reinventing myself, mentally and physically, and I love the person who I evolve into more and more each time. Freshman year I thought I was cool shit with my bleach blond hair, heels, and witty smart-assness. At that time I truly thought I was the best person I can be, but when I look back at that now, I'm thankful I'm not such a sloppy drunk and that I gained some class and maturity along the way. But the point is I had fun doing it, so therefore I wouldn't change anything.

"Glance into the world just as though time were gone: and everything crooked will become straight to you." - Nietzsche

"The best compliment a person can receive is not about their appearance but about their mind." - me

Leave a Comment | LABELS: college, senior year

Hypocrisy

It's funny when people do one thing and say another. It's even funnier when they deny that they even do these things. I mean, come on, EVERYBODY is a hypocrite, some just have the decency to admit it more than others.

I see girls as the biggest hypocrites, but that just may be because I am around them more than guys. Girls calling other girls sluts when they clearly are ones themselves, same with girls calling other girls bitches and fake...the list goes on. I hear it way too much when I'm out at parties or the bar, it's obviously irritating.

Let's just say I've dealt with fake people in my life; people who I thought were nice but then I find their true colors; ugly. The way they treat their loved ones ones who have been in their life for years or the way they treat someone who doesn't give them their way. It's funny to see what kind of a front people put on for others, even their voices sound different, but then when it's time to come home and deal with family, friends, roommates, people they dislike, they speak the ugliest words that you would never expect. You now have seen true colors and no longer have the time of day for them.

Girls calling other girls bitches. If I had a penny for every time I've heard that one... How about instead of pointing your fingers at someone else's flaws, take a look at your own. Because yes, everyone has flaws.

I laugh when people can't realize they are victims of their own hypocrisy. Call somebody else out on something, but realize you posses that trait also. That's the only reason why you are recognizing the depth of someone's flaw is because you have or previously had that same quality about yourself.

The next time you think about judging someone, pause and think "Have I ever acted this way? Do I have the right to speak about this to others? Would someone think I'm a hypocrite?" Yep. Things would be more peaceful amongst everyone if people would just hold their tongues and let things slide.

"Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself."

Leave a Comment | LABELS: hypocrits

Stop worrying, have fun

I've been trying to figure out a nice way to tell my girl friend what she's doing wrong with men. She is one of my prettiest friends and asks me on a regular basis why a guy isn't texting her back, why another guy won't respond to her calls, why this other guy has been ditching out on plans they've made. This girl has everything going for her but she is too forward with guys. She so badly wants a boyfriend that she puts herself out there the wrong way. Girls; playing hard to get doesn't mean telling guys "I love being single" or along those lines. Don't completely turn them away. There needs to be mystery, not lies. You don't want to talk about marriage or anything right away either. This is, of course, all easier said than done. I haven't had to play the single game for a while now, but I feel like I would be a pro at it if need be.

Honestly I think so many girls are getting nervous because we're in our twenties now and that's when we are "supposed" to settle down. My parents along with many other peoples' parents were married by 20 or 21. So many girls get preoccupied by this marriage ritual that it turns into anxiety. Many of our friends and acquaintances are getting engaged, right and left, and it starts to scare people; thinking they should be next. It's this chain reaction of marriage proposals that create the chaos of hopelessness for single girls.

I love my single friends. I have the most fun when I go out with the girls than anyone else. Going out with my boyfriend is fun, but it's just not the same. I think college would be really boring if everyone stayed attached at the hip with their significant other. Just keep in mind: Who are you without your freedom? Nobody. You end up being a slave to your own stage 5 clinging. It's okay to enjoy your own life and enjoy your significant other's life separately.

Now that I have that covered, girl friends: it's okay to be single! Embrace it. When all else fails, take a look at the Kardashians.

Leave a Comment |

Intro

"Beliefs are what separate people, doubt unites them."

It has irked me to see how gullible, brainwashed, and ignorant people can be. Being placed in a narrow minded community a while ago really put things into perspective for me, and not a good one. I can't believe how people can revolve their lives around something so inconspicuous, and so hypocritical, and then not have energy left to do something truly righteous for themselves or for one another.

Let's take a look at politics. If you want to know what a liberal stands for, just ask a conservative. The same being true if you want to know what a conservative stands for, ask a liberal. Those who get so caught up with their opinions tend to not see the other side. Sometimes they just need to put themselves in a different light to see where someone else may be coming from. Having empathy is one of the most substantial attribute for a person to have, without it people often get nasty and too one-sided.

I wouldn't consider myself a conservative or a liberal, I wouldn't even consider myself in the exact middle. There are certain things I pick and choose from each side in which I form my own belief system.

One thing is for sure though: religion needs to be put into the same category as politics. Religion, like politics, is a belief. It is not a choice, just like sexual orientation. These two things are often perceived as just that by many conservatives. Marriage is not a religious institution, it is a political one.  Therefore, any couple should have the right to make their partnership legal, regardless of what interpretation of the bible people have.

Religion is not something I want to get into, solely for the reason of it being so sacred to those who have it. It's a misconception, though, that atheists don't have morals. It's actually quite the opposite, the only difference is that atheists do things out of their own free will, versus theists who only do things because they are afraid of being judged by a higher power in the end, and being immoral might cost them eternal life. Who are the good people now? Those doing good deeds out of their own free will or those who do so only because they think someone is watching them?

I don't want to condone anyone to switch to another religion, but I wouldn't object to someone making their own. All I am saying is never stop thinking. Ignorant people will tell you to not to doubt. Ignore them. Those people will go on and breed another generation of stupid. Your mind is the most important thing you have, and with that being said, question everything.

I can't stress how important it is to be yourself, know yourself, like yourself. There is not one person out there that you can have as much in common as you. If you've ever found yourself talking to yourself; you are normal. If you think you are crazy, you may be right, but look in a history book, everyone had some kind of disorder, they just knew how to use it.

In order to start any grounded relationship with a person, you need to start with yourself first. You cannot love another person without loving yourself first. But don't allow yourself to get self-obsessed, which is no different than self-hatred. Both are a misplacement of priorities and an abandonment of responsibilities left to the judgment of others.

With all that being said, everyone is hypocritical, just some more than others, but not all at the same time. It's just easier to judge someone on the other side of the fence. Remember that no one is right and no one is wrong, there are only interpretations, and whichever one wins at any certain time is merely a result of power.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain

Leave a Comment | LABELS: politics, relationships, religion