A friend shouldn't be defined as someone who gives back what they receive, or visa versa. A friend is someone who you get enjoyment out of from helping them, being there for them, etc. without needing them to always return the favor. An analogy I compare to this is helping the less fortunate, doing a good deed that comes with no reward, volunteering, etc. You do these things because you truly care about and empathize the people you are helping. You don't expect them to ever return the favor, you just want to give them a chance to feel special. That's what friends are for. If you really want to make sure you are always getting back what you give out, keep a tally, because you're going to constantly have thoughts running through your mind like "I did something for them 3 times, they only returned one favor to me, I think they owe me two..." Dumb. That way of thinking is going to drive you crazy.
As you get older you learn that the important part of friendship is worrying about what you are doing on your part, not worrying about whether they are doing something on their end. This is when you know you have matured. Girls seem to pick up this skill later than guys do. Girls are more competitive and don't want to be friends with other girls who make them feel inferior, guys don't care. Why do girls have to be this way? That's why I will appreciate the girl friends I do have to the very end, but there is nothing like a girl and guy friendship; there is less betrayal, less judgment, and definitely less competition.
I may have friends who don't always return favors I give them, but I don't consider them favors. The things I do for my friends are truly acts to better themselves because they deserve it. And despite what you may think, everyone deserves it. Everyone gets a chance, but once they betray you, that chance is over and they are usually then expected to redeem themselves in some way.
Everyone has become so superficial, greedy, selfish that in friendships or romantic relationships, everyone is always wanting to get something out of it. Maybe if these people stopped expecting things, even greater things will come their way. Just remember, the more greedy an individual seems, the less someone else wants to help them out. Friends do things for each other because they care. We don't expect anything in return, it's enough for us to make them feel good :)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
What is a friend?
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