Thursday, March 10, 2011

What is a friend?

A friend shouldn't be defined as someone who gives back what they receive, or visa versa. A friend is someone who you get enjoyment out of from helping them, being there for them, etc. without needing them to always return the favor. An analogy I compare to this is helping the less fortunate, doing a good deed that comes with no reward, volunteering, etc. You do these things because you truly care about and empathize the people you are helping. You don't expect them to ever return the favor, you just want to give them a chance to feel special. That's what friends are for. If you really want to make sure you are always getting back what you give out, keep a tally, because you're going to constantly have thoughts running through your mind like "I did something for them 3 times, they only returned one favor to me, I think they owe me two..." Dumb. That way of thinking is going to drive you crazy.

As you get older you learn that the important part of friendship is worrying about what you are doing on your part, not worrying about whether they are doing something on their end. This is when you know you have matured. Girls seem to pick up this skill later than guys do. Girls are more competitive and don't want to be friends with other girls who make them feel inferior, guys don't care. Why do girls have to be this way? That's why I will appreciate the girl friends I do have to the very end, but there is nothing like a girl and guy friendship; there is less betrayal, less judgment, and definitely less competition.

I may have friends who don't always return favors I give them, but I don't consider them favors. The things I do for my friends are truly acts to better themselves because they deserve it. And despite what you may think, everyone deserves it. Everyone gets a chance, but once they betray you, that chance is over and they are usually then expected to redeem themselves in some way.

Everyone has become so superficial, greedy, selfish that in friendships or romantic relationships, everyone is always wanting to get something out of it. Maybe if these people stopped expecting things, even greater things will come their way. Just remember, the more greedy an individual seems, the less someone else wants to help them out. Friends do things for each other because they care. We don't expect anything in return, it's enough for us to make them feel good :)
Thursday, March 3, 2011

Rules to live by

    1.    Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
    2.    Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
    3.    Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
    4.    When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’
    5.    Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
    6.    Play more games and read more books than you did last year.
    7.    Make time to practice meditation. It provides us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
    8.    Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
    9.    Dream more while you are awake.
    10.    Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
    11.    Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
    12.    Try to make at least three people smile each day.
    13.    Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
    14.    Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
    15.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
    16.    Eat breakfast like a queen, lunch like a princess and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
    17.    Smile and laugh more. It will keep the negative blues away.
    18.    Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
    19.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
    20.    Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    21.    You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
    22.    Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
    23.    Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    24.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
    25.    Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
    26.    Forgive everyone for everything.
    27.    What other people think of you is none of your business.
    28.    Know one is responsible for your actions except you.
    29.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
    30.    Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
    31.    Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
    32.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
    33.    The best is yet to come.
    34.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
    35.    Do the right thing!
    36.    Call your family often.
    37.    Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for _______. Today I accomplished ____.
    38.    Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
    39.    Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
    40.    Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Senior Year

This is by far the best year of college. I guess it goes without saying; senior year of anything is the most fun as I found out already in high school. I have, for one, learned so much; from my professors, my classmates, my friends, and last and foremost, myself. I could be placed on a deserted island and still learn things from inside my own head, it holds wonders. Reading pieces and excerpts from my own writings (homework, word documents, online discussions, etc.) within the last year and a half has made me self-aware that I am capable of so much. The common theme of expression I have used is inspiration. I am longing to inspire people forever. The fact that so many people confide in me for advice, give me trust, and want to share parts of their lives with me because they believe I will understand and accept them unconditionally all comes together and gives me strength to be the best person I can be. But in all seriousness, I hate corniness. It's a waste of time to spend our lives being serious. I am "corny" every once in a while when need be, but when it comes down to it I'd rather spend my time with people laughing more than anything.

This leads me to the part where I talk about how fun senior year is. I'm 21, confident, enthusiastic, and am trying to live my life this last year in Duluth before the youth all goes away. Let me just point out that I'm 22, but I was trying to emphasize on the fact that I am legal to drink, and can we just agree that 21 sounds way better than 22...? I'm trying to stay young as long as I can! The age 25 is creeping up and I don't want to look back on my early 20's and think, "Wow, I wish I would've let loose and had more fun!" That's exactly what I'm doing and there are zero regrets. Zero. I look back on every weekend and think about how much fun it was, even though there honestly hasn't been a sober one yet. I've definitely been a "hot mess" for a majority of the semester. A year ago all I wanted was to be done with college, but now I'm having second thoughts, it's going to be sad more than anything. It worries me to think that there's some people I may never see again if I don't keep in touch, and I'm not the greatest at keeping in touch with people. I will definitely have to come back to Duluth for random weekends and hit up the Sports Garden.

Now let's stop and think; who would you be without college? Would you be somewhere greater doing bigger and better things, or would you be two steps back, trying to figure out your life? I have no idea where I would be, but I'm glad that college worked out the best for me. I love the people here, and am lucky to have met my boyfriend. Who would I have met if I went to school somewhere else? Would he ever measure up to Adam? I think not, and that's why I consider myself lucky. I definitely owe him thanks for bringing me to my feet when I am discouraged. He is always there to tell me everything is going to be okay if I'm stressing. But I don't really owe anyone for where I've landed today, I can only thank myself. I'm amazed at how far I've come emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. I will always be an emotional person, I'm a feeler by nature, but I know how to cope with my emotions and channel them into positive. I'm constantly reinventing myself, mentally and physically, and I love the person who I evolve into more and more each time. Freshman year I thought I was cool shit with my bleach blond hair, heels, and witty smart-assness. At that time I truly thought I was the best person I can be, but when I look back at that now, I'm thankful I'm not such a sloppy drunk and that I gained some class and maturity along the way. But the point is I had fun doing it, so therefore I wouldn't change anything.

"Glance into the world just as though time were gone: and everything crooked will become straight to you." - Nietzsche

"The best compliment a person can receive is not about their appearance but about their mind." - me
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