Monday, December 3, 2018

Turning 30 Has Been Looming Over My Head

I still have 5 days. I still have 5 days. I've even been practicing saying "I'm 30" just to ease myself into it.

Yes, December 8th I will turn 30. I have been dreading it for at LEAST the last 6 months. The closer it got, the more my eyes started to well up at the thought of it. The only thing that has kept me going is the fact that every woman above the age of 40 has told me 30's have been their favorite age. You are having fun, while also being taken seriously by people.

Yes, I'm afraid of aging. If I think about it too much I get a pit in my stomach and just need to re-direct my thoughts. I know 30 is still young. I know this. It's dumb, honestly.

I have been soaking up my last year of 20's as much as I possibly can, that means finding any old reason to explicitly tell people "I am 29".

Them: "What do you do for a living?"
Me: "Well, I'm 29 and ...."

Them: *small talk about college*
Me: "I'm 29, so I've been out of college for 7 years"

Them: "Do you have siblings?"
Me: "Yes, 3. My youngest sister is 19, and we're 10 years apart, so, ya know, I'm 29..."

Me: "Did someone say 29?? I'M 29! HAHA! Oh, sorry I guess I heard that wrong."

I really felt the need to wear-out the use of declaring my age as I near the end of my twenties. I hope I wasn't too ridiculously obnoxious.

Speaking of obnoxious, at age 30, I still:
1. Sweat profusely when I have to drive next to a semi on the freeway.
2. Online window shop by putting a bunch of items in my virtual cart and never purchasing them.
3. Become obsessed with a song and listen to it on repeat until it wears out.
4. Accidentally eat snacks instead of actual meals.
5. Mock people who are mean to me behind their backs.
6. Don't coupon
7. Not even a little bit.
8. Impulse buy dumb gadgets on Amazon.
9. Buy plants and fail to keep them alive
10. Make complex salads and fail to clean up the mess (ask husband).
11. Refuse to wear non-skinny jeans.
12. But I can also go a full day without getting out of my robe.
13. Write down a grocery list, then take a picture of it so it's on my phone.
14. Spill food on myself. Today it was a quarter size dollop of key lime yogurt IN MY HAIR
15. Forget to reply to a simple text for 2 days. 

I didn't want this to come off as sad, but I didn't want it to come off as a corny inspirational piece either. Just something in the middle. I'm leaving the young decade; the one where middle-aged people always reference back to; "Brenda! Take a shot with me! Do I look 29? I feel 29!" "It's my 20th anniversary of my 25th birthday Haaahhahahah"

My twenties were: wild, boring, adventurous, safe, full of life events, milestones, bad decisions, black out drunk escapades, kindergarten school pickups, breastfeeding, waiting outside in lines to get into the club in the middle of -20 degree weather, getting in raging drunk fights with my friends, moving 3 times and raising babies in each home, working at 4 different companies, 6 different positions, traveling to fun adult places, traveling to family friendly destinations, embarrassing moments, redeeming moments,  I'll let you figure out which order these go in ;)

Know what makes me the most emotional of all, though? In my twenties, I've completed all of my "milestone" goals. I am married to the best husband, have two beautiful children, own a home in a beautiful city, and I have my career established. Now it's time, in my 30's, to knock out my smaller list of goals. Happy birthday to me. 


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