Wednesday, February 21, 2018

The Stages of Winter from a Minnesotan's POV

Image result for minnesota snow

November - We act surprised when we have our first snow forecast. OMG! I'm just not ready for this! It's supposed to SNOW tomorrow you does every year in November.

December - These flurries are so cute! I'm gonna build a snowman! I'm SO glad we live in a place where we can have a white Christmas. Nothing better than cozy-ing up to the fireplace under a blanket on a snowday. Awww, let's take some family pics outside, where the snow is sticking to the trees all cute-like! I'm gonna take a close up artsy picture of this snowflake and post it to instagram.

January - Back to back snowstorms happen. School is cancelled/delayed about once a week. But we still have to drive places because life. My car gets stuck driving up a hill. Only because the person driving in front of me did first. Thanks a lot. Now I have to reverse down this steep hill and find a different route. Except that other route won't work either. God, it sucks where we live. WHY DO WE LIVE HERE. But also a false sense of optimism washes over me… Like, this is probably getting close to the "end" of winter. Let's just suck it up a little longer. Summer is right around the corner

February - The January shenanigans continue. Back to back snowstorms. Negative temps. Extremely cold wind chills. The city plows are not responsive. Shoveling our cars out of parking spots are the new winter workout. If you're into a back-only workout, that is. I start to fill with rage. I cannot drive anywhere, I cannot walk anywhere, I cannot see anything. White is just the color of our lives at this point. It's too cold for kids to play outside, but driving them across town to spend time at the museum is also risking my life. WHY THE $*%& DO WE LIVE HERE.

March - Literal depression sets in. Isn't March 22nd officially "spring"? Why are we still getting snowstorms? Oh, how LUCKY, it's averaging 32 degrees this week. It's so LOVELY when all this snow starts to half-melt and mix with mud. And then freeze again into solid ice at night. I just love how my child's snowpants get covered in a slushy mud everyday while playing outside at school.

April - Okay. This might be it. Like we still have snow, but it seems like we aren't getting *too* much more. There's a few days where I don't need to wear a winter coat. Like an actual SPRING jacket can be worn. It's still a sloppy mess, though.

May - It's not warm-warm, but it's okay. Like we still have our heat on, but I can at least stand on the front steps and shake a rug without getting frostbite. There's still random piles of snow, if they're big enough they take a while to melt. But for the most part this is spring. It's finally over. Finally.

Oh wait, it's snowing… 


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