Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Allowing Tomorrow to be a Good Day


There are far too many everyday things that I turn into something bigger, more special, than what they have to be. Why? Because I have this fear of time slipping by too quickly. I fear a life not lived enough or feeling too short. I fear that all these moments will be forgotten and not enough of them will be remembered as fun and special. I want to turn the mundane and ordinary into something more magical, something that's "us".

It's why I make a big deal out of holidays and birthdays and stretch out the entertainment for a month, rather than a few days. It's why I plan little weekend getaways and have an unrealistically loaded bucket list of stops to make in a new city. It's why I make rituals of all three of us cooking breakfast and dinner together and need to make a dance party out of it. It's why it drives me crazy if we don't take Mira to the aquarium or children's museum one week and why I feel like the worst parent ever if I don't take her to the library when I have free time.

Is it a bad thing to just want to try and make everything memorable? No. I'm trying to make moments and holidays stretch out longer, trying to add more pizzaz to daunting tasks like cooking and cleaning. I'm just doing what I think is to make life rich and full. It's not bad, but it is setting a precedent; a bar that I will have to always keep up and will feel like a huge let down if not reached.

One thing I have had a hard time realizing is it's okay to have a series of normal, quaint, boring days. It's okay when there isn't anything specific to look forward to when I lie down at night. Sometimes it's okay to just look forward to tomorrow just because it's tomorrow. What am I teaching my daughter and what am I setting her up for if I constantly have to have something special lined up? I haven't taught her that tomorrow is going to be a good day just because it is; because we will make it good; we will allow it.

I still like to make things special, but "Tomorrow will be a good day", is the only affirmation we need. 

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